5.04.2006

okay, trying for fizzpo

Or: how to make fizzpo avoid langpo. I think we need more rules.

Your Town Has Nine Nice Lawns

See Reno before you die in
Alaska where your wolves slip
up the lips of two apologetic girls
trading shoes for fraught shenanigans --

-- win a fistful of rhinestones,
but the fist of a station dwarf, so
yeah. No good movies thrum through
this town so it's roofie what what
for the pose --

-- for the win! in the stretch
of any back, and I've seen my
share of Amy's back, see Reno
before you employ a beach ball
as a priest, or a consolation doobie --

-- see what brooding we invent when
my trailer fills with Chinese lanterns.

9 comments:

Bryan said...

okay:

i'm pretty sure this is fizzpo.

you still sorta enclose the poem in a capsule with the reno references at beginning and end, but you manage to remove the middle of the capsule.

it's not "housed" like the other poem i deemed fizzy.

i think alot of the fizziness is in the syntax too.

mixed up syntax is good.

Mike Young said...

Some bubbles repeat, right? I think repetition is an element of fizziness. Maybe.

Bryan said...

i think repetition is an element of fizziness, but it's a certain kind of repitition.

it can't be repitition for the sake of repetition. the repitition has to serve a fizzy purpose.

but i don't have to tell you that. i'm just throwing that out there for us to compile in our mission statement.

mission statement isn't really that fizzy.

let's call it our "mission face"

Jess said...

Yeah - I'm looking for more rules. I want to contribute to the fizzful work but I'm still teetering on exactly how to do that. Ok - so now you guys are giving me homework?

I agree on the fizzy feeling of this poem and that the repetition was important to that. I like how Reno comes back as though the poem's come full circle, when it's actually made more of a shape that folds in on itself and leaves you on some dirt road in Kentucky.

There's also something about "so yeah" and "so it's roofie what what" that fizzes for me, as though they are crucial to some detailed explanation. Or is that too langpo?

And yeah, Bryan, mission statement seems off. Bear with me while I play:

mission face
face of mission
face o' mission
face omission

I don't know.

Mike Young said...

Hmm. Good question.

I think fizzpo is mixing up syntax and line-to-line connections.

And letting imagery and word implications bleed into each other through mistakes and homonymns and whatnot.

And using commonplace words and jokes you might find at the kitchen table after a very long day -- words that belong to 2006, words that belong to the year of the table's construction, and words that belong to the wood.

And being fizzy, of course.

And running away from your heart, which is attached to your teeth via bungee cord.

Bryan?

Mike

Bryan said...

i think, yes, fizzpo is mixing up syntax and line-to-line connections.

it is also very reliant on imagery, but not in the "that paints a good image" way.

stationary images have lost their value in 2006. stationary images are boring.

that's where the broken/wrong/weird syntax enters.

use of words that belong to 2006. hmm... i think that's part of it, but i think a big part of fizziness has to do with revival of words that have become stale, or are otherwise not very interesting.

revival isn't the right word.

Jess said...

Ok, yeah, this is helping.

"words that belong to 2006, words that belong to the year of the table's construction, and words that belong to the wood"

and

"revival of words that have become stale, or are otherwise not very interesting"

Yeah. I'm gonna take these out back and kick them around for a while.

Mike Young said...

I don't know where the revival thing came from, but I agree about using words that don't seem very interesting. Bubbles have no sorting method. Everything is interesting when it's fizzy.

And the other thing is coming to the halleljuah and breaking off. Almost every line should feel like the second-to-last line of something great.

Bryan said...

i don't know where the revival thing came from either.

i just meant syntax and language surrounds boring words to make them fizzy.

also:

yes, "almost every line should feel like the second-to-last line of something great."

good call.