12.29.2009

they are sometimes cheaper in the south



Featuring the sparkling cider guitar of Ari Feld, the sky blue harmonies of Christy Crutchfield, the elegant tambourine smacking of Gabe Durham, and the openly terrific oboe of Anne Holmes. Members who were not in attendance/not yet in the band in August: Gale Thompson and Ben Kopel. Yeah, this is from way back in August, so it's not exactly new news, but what: you want an airplane? Thanks to Brian Mihok for the video, which is maybe a little jerky, but he recorded it off his iPhone, which he's not even supposed to be able to do, so in conclusion Brian Mihok is magic.

Here are the lyrics:

YOU DON'T HAVE TO FALL APART

Love me like a sparrow that you keep inside your freezer
Love me like an object that looks closer in the mirror
Love me like your elbow dipped in honey you can't lick
Love me like a Popsicle that's fallen off the stick

Love me like a bowling alley that went belly up
Love me like a bloom beneath a frost of awful luck
Love me like the price of cigarettes in other states
Love me like some funny stone you don't know why you saved

You don't have to love me now
Just please don't say goodbye
You don't have to be nice to me
Though you know I wouldn't mind
I'll sleep just like a match inside
Your paper lantern heart
Everyone's got reasons oh
But reasons fall apart

Love me like an ant hill that you carefully avoid
Love me like the relevance of some old broken toy
Love me like balloons you lose ahold of in the breeze
And watch until they're gone from you
Or gone from sight at least

You don't have to love me now
Just please don't say goodbye
You don't have to be nice to me
Though you know I wouldn't mind
I'll sleep just like a match inside
Your paper lantern heart
Everyone's got reasons oh
But reasons fall apart

12.26.2009

i know it's made of foam it's still my real finger


HI EVERYBODY

WHAT DID SANTA BRING YOU

HERE IS A COFFEE CHIPOTLE RUB


3 teaspoons ground coffee
3 teaspoons ground chipotle pepper (or chipotle chile powder)
1/4 cup paprika
2 teaspoons toasted cumin seeds
3 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon salt

12.17.2009

one of these days i'm going to come up with something interesting to post about


Until then, here is a funny picture and two links to recent guest posts on other blogs:

At Big Other, eight things I discovered for the first time in 2009 with commentary: Frank Lima, Lewis Nordan, Billy Joe Shaver, Jim Ford, Melanie Joy, pasta with beans, Scrooged, and Catallus. Thanks to John Madera for asking me to contribute.

An interview with Jason Behrends of the terrific blog What To Wear During An Orange Alert. I talk about what's coming next year for Magic Helicopter Press, other things, blah blah, maybe someone should put a dental drill in my eye, etc.

12.11.2009

you have two choices: hey or wait


A new poem is up at Everyday Genius, courtesy of December's guest editor Sasha Fletcher. The poem is called "Giggle Or Stop It." It's another poem about feelings. Thanks, Sasha.

12.10.2009

Coinsides from Brave Men Press


Brian Foley and Emily B. Goodale of Brave Men Press made, for a recent reading in Boston, a coinside from part of my poem "Tell Me And I Will Know". I am really flattered by Emily's artwork and craft and by Brian's asking me into the project, because—looking at these beautiful coinsides—I think this might be the nicest my work has ever been treated, and that's pretty humbling. Anyway, a coinside is like a tiny broadside, sort of half a bookmark size, and really lovingly done up on cardstock with an illustration from Emily. You can get one for $3.50 from Brave Men Press. There are 23 available? Maybe a few less, since a few people got some at the reading? Thanks again to Brain and Emily. I'm not worthy!

12.07.2009

you can't slip on the ice if you're wearing it


New stuff is up at Idiolexicon, helmed ably by Patrick Duggan, Elliot Harmon, and Marcus Merritt. Thanks guys! Read: "All I Want To Ask the Ghosts of Hewitt Park" (from MC Oroville's Answering Machine), "Eh Is Right," "The Giant Who Learned to Dance," and "The Relevant Oh." Those last three are from We Are All Good If They Try Hard Enough, that poem book I've got coming out next Summer from PGP that I'm going to be throwing at you on-tour with Rachel B Glaser. Except the giant dancing poem isn't a prose poem anymore. It's a dance. It involves falling all over you. Man, just realized they're making really sexy stagecoaches these days. Keep a look out for those sexy stagecoaches. Let me know if you're robbed.

11.26.2009

dreaming of: carrot cake, the cute one | watching: harmony korine on youtube



WHAT ARE YOU DREAMING OF AND WATCHING

BONUS POINTS: MOMENTS IN WHICH THE WORLD STARTLED YOU FOR FIFTEEN SECONDS; YESTERDAY I WAS STARTLED IN THE EVENING BY A WOMAN WITH A BUBBLE UMBRELLA ACROSS THE STREET FROM KFC; MOMENTS FROM THE LAST 3563 YEARS ALL ELIGIBLE

11.18.2009

Cambridge Reading at the Deep Moat Series | 5PM | Saturday, Nov 28th

Thanks to Brian Foley. Here is the info from the Deep Moat blog:


Saturday, November 28th at 5:00 PM SHARP!

(please note the early start time)

at The Pierre Menard Gallery, Cambridge, MA

DAN BOEHL
MIKE YOUNG
&
LILY LADEWIG





Dan Boehl lives in Austin. He writes poems, novels, art reviews, and is a founding editor of the publishing company, Birds, LLC.


Read a poem by Dan at Ink Node - http://www.inknode.com/piece/139-dan-boehl-self-improvement

Read 3 poems by Dan at Ekleksographia - http://ekleksographia.ahadadabooks.com/issuetwo/authors/dan_boehl.html



Mike Young is the author of We Are All Good If They Try Hard Enough (Publishing Genius 2010) and the chapbook MC Oroville's Answering Machine (Transmission Press 2009). He co-edits NOÖ Journal and Magic Helicopter Press. Visit him online at http://mike.noojournal.com.



Read a poem by Mike at Night Train - http://www.nighttrainmagazine.com/contents/young_8_1.php

Read a poem by Mike at No Tell Motel - http://notellmotel.org/poem_single.php?id=1697_0_1_0



Lily Ladewig's poems have appeared in Drunken Boat, Invisible Ear, Juked, and THERMOS Blog, among other places. She is currently finishing her MFA at UMass Amherst where she teaches undergraduates how/how not to read and write poems. In her spare time she also teaches yoga and blogs about poetry and pop culture on http://lilyladewig.wordpress.com.

Read some poems by Lily at Drunken Boat - http://www.drunkenboat.com/db10/08poe/ladewig/


***

As always, limited edition coinsides (tiny broadsides) will be available at the reading and through the Brave Men Press website.


All readings are free and open to the public. Wine and bullfights guaranteed if you get there early.

All readings are held at the Pierre Menard Gallery,

10 Arrow Street, Cambridge MA

http://www.pierremenardgallery.com/

Contact Brian Foley with any questions at brianjamesfoley@gmail.com

For more information, visit – www.thedeepmoatreadingseries.blogspot.com





Hope to see you there,
Brian

The Deep Moat Reading Series is part of the Boston Poetry Collective.
For other readings from the Boston Poetry Collective go to: http://bostonpoetry.blogspot.com/









11.15.2009

MC Oroville's Answering Machine is sold out / but i will send you a PDF if you send me something

My chapbook MC Oroville's Answering Machine from Transmission Press is now officially sold out. I gave away a copy this afternoon and then came home and someone had ordered one. Thanks to everybody who bought and read it. Thanks to Logan Ryan Smith for publishing it. If you would still like to read MC Oroville's Answering Machine, email me: mikeayoung AT gmail DOT youknowhat. We can do a trade. Thanks everybody. You have cute shoulders.

10.27.2009

chelsea martin is a bowl of stew hiding inside from a cold october storm

from the end of a very important email sent to me by Chelsea Martin:

ps mike i had a dream that you owned a massive and highly-respected natural history museum and i started going to school there and you owned the original tarp that jesus christ was stapled to and you made jimmy chen the 'emergency expert' even though he lives in california because you were so sure that there would never be an emergency at the natural history museum and there was a really funny poster of jimmy sprinkling emergency powder on the ground.

10.10.2009

mama don't let your babies throw up on the cowboys



If my life were a non-linear roleplaying game such as Morrowind or Daggerfall, feel like I might ditch the main quest for a while and just hang out in Portland, ME running small fetch jobs for bookstore owners and sitting in the town inns to watch people scuff cobblestone with their pixely boots.

10.03.2009

audience participation


Do you want to play the kazoo? Do you want to play the maracas? Do you want to play the penny whistle? Do you want to play the fishpipe? Do you want to play the slapdash? Do you want to play the gourd? Do you want to play the didgeridoo? Do you want to play Twister? Do you want to play for money? Do you want to plate with subtlety? Do you want to be in the play? Do you want to play catch? Do you want to play freeze tag? Do you want to play at my house or yours? Do you want to play outside? What if it's raining? Do you want to play your mix next? Do you want to play up our chances? Do you want to play tummysticks? Do you want to play for keeps? Do you want this playpen I was gonna throw it out? Do you want the plague--I don't! Do you want to play once this is done? Do you want to pray? Can you keep my hand steady? Do you want to play in my band? Do I want to play in your band? Do you want to ban my play? Do you want to placate the bear? Do you want it plain? With salt? Do you want a playmate? Do you want a blowjob? Do you want planar activity? Do you concern place? Do you play in private? Is that a play? Are we playing? Are you joking? Is there a place we can just play?

Answers in the comments, please.

9.11.2009

i wrote part of a story about northampton ma


And Reynard Seifert was gracious enough to publish it on his new site HAHACLEVER. The story is part of a bulbous mystery project. HAHACLEVER seems on the ball, in that sort of lying-on-your-belly-on-a-giant-exercise-ball-and-rocking-whimsically-back-and-forth way, which is a good way.

Read my story here. It's called "Oh Hi I Was Just About To Find You."

Right now it's raining. Strange what one person calls rain and somebody else might call a good time. I have a lot of work to do. Post office and computer huddle. There's things that need to get said, things about mosquito fogging, OkCupid, haunted gameshows, neon suspenders, and busted pumpkins. Really excited about buying yams. Vaguely excited, I mean. Like there is a room in my brain for yam excitement that I haven't put a couch in yet. Maybe you would like to read this ode to friendship by Kenneth Koch:

To Friendship
--Kenneth Koch

Puberty was the Norman Conquest
By the language of love I thought you’d be suppressed
But you hung in there. You’ve stayed with me for sixty years.
You prevented nights lonely
To the point of desperation. You embarked on projects.
You took trips. You bravely quarreled, made up, and sat down again.
You saved a third person. You went into a ditch. You examined causes.
You started magazines and ate turkeys. You went to the clinic. You gave advice
Endlessly, the tag-end of gossip. You discussed violence, money, and vulnerability.
Egotism was one of your major topics. You left a third one standing on a bridge
By your overabsorption in yourself. You familiarized with France.
A glass wall covered with blue and white ribbons made you laugh. You sent home for wives,
Husbands, brothers, sisters, and girlfriends. You felt you were the best.
You delivered encomiums. I have images of you moseying down sidewalks
And images of you boisterous and drunk. Sunlight admired you
And so did travel and evening. You gave sleeping a rest, by conducting seminars
On variations of yourself until almost dawn.
You are consoling about age and approaching extinction. You keep out of bed and leap from apartments
But are caught in a net. The traffic kicks you
Into high gear. You live criticism of life. You quiet the motion
Of barricades rising. You’ve lasted, in these ways,
Longer than love, which you haven’t supplanted.

9.09.2009

take me like a sparkler? more like take me like a fire hazard



The not-actually-from-Britain-and-still-amazingly-lovely-and-nice Ani Smith interviewed me for Writers' Bloc. Read the interview here.

I had a good time with this interview because Ani asked sockjaw questions that made me want to say a lot. Feel like she made want to make interviews my "main genre." She asked questions that were kind of like crescent wrenches if crescent wrenches could hit slice backhands. This got me to say things about Oroville and aesthetics I have never said. Good work, Ani. I recorded a very Oroville-based song for her, which you can listen to by visiting the interview. Also, look at this nice thing she said about MC Oroville's Answering Machine:

MC Oroville’s Answering Machine, made me homesick, an unexpected yet welcome side effect for an American expat. MC O, set in Oroville, California, will show you the wild, lesser known side of America - a side that I obviously favor - through a cast of funny (in both the ‘ha ha’ and ‘queer’ senses) characters who illustrate the unlikely things people choose to care about, the wacky, beautiful and cruel things we do to each other, and the simultaneously amazing and mundane ways we pass the time.


Damn, yo. Thanks for the interview, Ani! Unrelated but hopefully a bonus: here are two videos of my band The Cinnamon Urns playing at Ari and Sara's house in Northampton. Hello Moldova! There are more too. I recommend the Gabe Durham-led Intervention cover and Ari Feld's "Redwing Blackbird".



8.26.2009

caught me with my own special


POETS & PUPPETS
Saturday, August 29, 8pm
Brooklyn, NY


BLAKE BUTLER has published more short stories than Jonathan Safran Foer and Nicole Krauss combined. He is the author of EVER, a novella (Calamari Press), and the forthcoming Scorch Atlas, a novel in stories (Featherproof Books).

ISH KLEIN's book, Union! came out April 2009 through the Canarium Press. Her poems have been published in The Canary, Gare du Nord, The Hat magazine, X-connect, Bridge, Spork and are online. She also makes movies and lives in Philadelphia. Please see Ish Klein's new book UNION! http://unionbook.blogspot.com/

DOROTHEA LASKY is the author of AWE (Wave Books, 2007) and Black Life (Wave Books, 2010). Currently, she studies creativity and education at the University of Pennsylvania.

KENDRA GRANT MALONE is the author of five chapbooks, which include Love Your Friends and Not Your Lovers (bore parade) and Conor Oberst Sex (co-written with Tao Lin, forthcoming from Happy Cobra Books). When she came up with the idea for this party, she stole Leigh's heart.

LEIGH STEIN is the author of How to Mend a Broken Heart with Vengeance (Dancing Girl Press) and Least Inhabited Island II (h-ngm-n Combatives). She has always preceded Mike Young alphabetically.

MIKE YOUNG is the author of We Are All Good If They Try Hard Enough (Publishing Genius 2010) and two chapbooks: MC Oroville's Answering Machine (Transmission Press) and Real Sturdy Thing (Stormy Petrel Press). He co-edits NOÖ Journal and Magic Helicopter Press. Visit him online at Mike Young at mikeayoung.blogspot.com.

ALSO APPEARING:

We Play Parties

Josh Garret-Davis

*** Please BYO booze & friends (some friends may be provided).
+++ Email leighstein@gmail.com for the house address.

8.18.2009

what i saw outside a mexican restauraunt in northampton, ma

Outside the Mexican restaurant were two old gay men, one in a silk buttondown and one with peroxided hair and a New England Patriots Super Bowl t-shirt. They were silent, smoking thin brown cigarettes and holding hands.

Then the one in the t-shirt said "One of these days you know, I hope I just get run over by a dump truck."

It's very hard to get a good burrito in Northampton, but it's a nice place to look at your phone and let it ring.

8.17.2009

Preorder THE DRUNK SONNETS, get a free beer koozie!

reposted from the NOÖ Journal blog


Dear friends,

Daniel Bailey's thrump of a full length poetry debut, The Drunk Sonnets (Magic Helicopter Press, Oktoberfest 2009) is now available for pre-order. Only $10 for a boom boom pow of heart gobbling poetry. And what's more, in an exclusive blog deal, the first 10 people to pre-order get a free Drunk Sonnets beer koozie. That's right, your very own purple Daniel Bailey beer koozie. So when you're passed out in your lawn chair or down your chimney, you can totally reprezent with the nation's new favorite drunk poet.

But don't take my smarmy-carnival-barker word for it! Read the following blurbs from K. Silem Mohammad and Sam Pink, and then read the poem below those:

You hear a lot of people these days calling for more sincerity in poetry. Assholes, mostly. But you know what? I can dig sincerity, when it's really sincerely sincere. And nothing is more sincere than some poor drunk guy with a tortured soul sharing his deepest dysfunctions with you. Daniel Bailey's Drunk Sonnets should win a truth-in-advertising award: these poems contain the kind of full-throated, heartbroken, prosodic yodeling that can come only from a close encounter with a tall bottle, or several of them. You can tell they're straight from the booze-soaked heart, because they're IN ALL CAPS. Is this a viable formal device? Can a poet legitimately achieve new heights of eloquence by slow, self-administered alcohol poisoning? Does crapped-pants inarticulacy ever magically transform itself to unparalleled lyric song? Yes, yes, and hell yesh. It may set a bad example for the kids, but this is poetry that grabs you by the shirt collar, sprays rank 80-proof emotion in your face, and makes you like it. Bottoms up.

—K. Silem Mohammad, author of Breathalyzer (Edge Books 2009) and Best American Poetry alum

This book is the result of an emo kid writing a few words then leaving the room to do something else, then a drunk old man walks in and says "What is this goofy garbage," and he edits a few lines but agrees with others, then he leaves the room and a bored but insightful cat walks in with an electrical helmet on that transcribes its boredom onto the page, then it leaves and a man who has wronged many people and been wronged by many people walks in and tries to write what he feels but just sighs and some tears hit the page and the words blend and begin to like each other and finally a five-year-old version of Daniel Bailey walks in, the Midwest sadness embedded as deeply in him as his Kool-Aid moustache, and he puts his hands over the book and blesses it, right before running outside to see who is waiting to play with him and make up more awesome worlds than the one that currently holds his weight.

—Sam Pink, author of I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT (Paper Hero Press, 2009), THE SELF ESTEEM HOLOCAUST COMES HOME (plays, Six Gallery Press), and FROWNS NEED FRIENDS TOO (Afterbirth Books)


DRUNK SONNET 28
—Daniel Bailey


LET’S HAVE A BABY PLEASE
LET’S HAVE A BABY AND WATCH IT GROW
LET’S VIDEOTAPE THE BABY GROWING
LET’S TIMEWARP THE VIDEO

LET’S WATCH THE BABY GROW AT INTENSE SPEEDS
LET’S WATCH IT GO FROM ZERO TO THREE YEARS IN 30 SECONDS
LET’S TOUCH OUR FACES TOGETHER AND KISS
LET’S UNDERSTAND THE WATER THAT KEEPS US ALIVE

LET’S TELL OURSELVES THAT WE ARE NO MISTAKE
LET’S FALL DOWN INTO A PILE OF DUCK BLANKETS
LET’S HAVE SOME FUN FINALLY AND LOVE SOMETHING

LET’S GET AWESOME TOGETHER AND MAKE LIFE GOOD
LET’S HAVE THIS, ALL OF THIS
LET’S NOT BE SAD OR ALONE ANYMORE PLEASE

PREORDER THE DRUNK SONNETS (COMING OKTOBERFEST 2009) TODAY! FIRST TEN ORDERS GET A FREE BEER KOOZIE!

8.16.2009

NOÖ 10!

NOÖ [10]online!

Check it out. Here is some trivia: one of my poetry heroes, Ron Padgett, is in this issue. He seems like a really generous and funny guy from emailing back and forth with him. He didn't like the double dash in lieu of actual em dash in front of the author names on the pages, but that's okay. I think once he sees the final issue he will like it better. NOÖ is full of broken boxes. That's how the chitterlings get in and out.

The cover is a photo found by Superbomba Lucy Diamond-Phillips. Hers is the best collection of found photography on the internet. Several of her pieces appear in the issue. The photo in this post is from her too. I'm going to name my sixth or seventh child Superbomba, unless you just hurry up and let me name yours, dear blog reader. I feel like we're "there" in our relationship.

Ryan Call, my co-editor, found a typo in Kim Chinquee's story "One Below," a line that went "Some bit hit" that should've went "Some big hit." Except, I thought it was a turn of phrase, not a typo. We made a bet. Ryan was right. Now I have to upload a picture of me from my childhood and post it on NOÖ's blog. But I don't have any on my computer. Mom and Dad, it would be funny if you guys found one from my tenth birthday. I don't know how you'd know, but it would be funny. Also you can find one from any birthday and lie and tell me it's from my tenth birthday and I will believe you. Unless, like, I have a beard in the photo.

Other things: running through the crosswalk, sugar cookie as a paint color, a camouflage sun hat, "She likes ham! She does magic!", I need a bike, jean shorts are the new jean shorts, feel positive about my fiber intake, and I want to be the official writer of people who wear nylon gloves, except they can only find one, except three of the holes in that one glove are punched out, except which holes are punched out changes daily, sometimes hourly, sometimes just depending on the moon.

8.13.2009

velvet elvis and secondhand clothes



This is one of the best Alan Jackson songs ever. Now with meerkats.

Things I'm going to do today: make jean shorts, read Willa Cather, work on uploading NOÖ 10. You should read Campbell McGrath's American Noise if you've never done that. Let's browse a river like it's a real estate catalog. Let's make fun of our own shoes. If anybody wants it, there's a king's robe in my kitchen closet. We didn't even lose the sash. What if I ate only bananas and multivitamins for a week-- is that a good idea? Carrots don't give you night vision. Thanks, British Air Force. Right before I took a shower today, I accidentally put my boxers in a bowl of peppers, but they were the clean boxers, the boxers of the future.

8.12.2009

do all people named tom like to paint


Dennis Cooper, who is on the Mt Rushmore of indie lit as Abe Lincoln-with-nice-sport-coats, very sweetly posted a big post on his blog about MC O and some of my music. Big splashes of thanks to Dennis, and thanks as well to my Australian friend David Rylance/Slatted Light for hooking Dennis up with a copy of MC O.

Interactive portion of the blog today: my landlord is painting a lot. He painted the porch blue. He's even painting ceilings. Do all people named Tom like to paint? Please share your opinions in the comments. Bonus points if your name is actually Tom or you know somebody named Tom.

8.11.2009

MC O: available at powells

UPDATE: COPIES AVAILABLE AT POWELL'S, CLICK HERE

Logan Ryan Smith, publisher of Transmission Press, moved to Seattle last week or so, and he couldn't take all his chapbooks with him, so he sent me his remaining copies of MC Oroville's Answering Machine to do with as I please. (All his buttons on the Transmission Press blog are gone, so I'm not sure if he's still going to do Transmission in the future, but I think he his, and I hope he is, because all his chapbooks are really cool. Probably the other people who have chapbooks through him have extra copies of theirs if you email them).

Anyway, I am selling MC O through this blog now for $1.00 plus shipping, which seems like a decent deal, right? Click on the PayPal button to the right, the one under the green cover, and I'll send you a copy. Or find me in person and I will probably just give you one. Or I think there are some stores in the Bay Area that have them, like Pegasus in Berkeley.

If you already ordered one from Logan, I think he has mailed all his orders, so you should get it. If you don't get it in the next week or so, email me and I will send you a copy. Or if you want to review it, I will send you a free copy.

At first, I was a little anxious that people would think it was "sleazy" or "unprofessional" or "vanity publishing" for me to sell my own chapbook, but sleazy hustling is very white trash and so maybe fits the aesthetic of the chapbook. Sure? Sure. Sleazy white trash poetry unite. Also, there are different colors.

8.05.2009

p.s.

New blog url is http://mikeayoung.blogspot.com. The old one, http://noojournal.com/blog, should redirect here, but update yr RSS feeds and all that good stuff.

We Are All Good If They Try Hard Enough will be a brook you can swim in


Some cool news to share with friends, and I think I'm officially allowed to share now that it's on the catalog page: My first full length poetry book, We Are All Good If They Try Hard Enough, will be coming out from Publishing Genius Press in 2010. I like PGP a lot: they publish really awesome stuff that slices the whatever between charm nuts and heart knock like some kind of excellent fencer. Including a neon war balloon of a novel whose film rights were recently bought by Spike Jonze.

Anyway, I am very excited to be working with PGP and the breakdancing soul genius of Adam Robinson, to be publishing a book, to be sharing this news with you. Mizz Chels, famous Oakland fortune teller and confused helmet owner, is doing the cover art. The book is about one face plus or minus another.

A favor: might people suggest things I can do to get people excited about the book? When it comes time for that. Like things I can do that aren't stupid? Like if I tried to bake pretzals with poems embedded, I might end up stupid at that and then no one would like me or my stupid book.

To close: thank you everyone who has read my poems or helped me write them, and thanks as well to everyone who has given me a ride or let me taste something on their plate, acts that go too often unthanked. I've got video of the Bay Area Reading Tour and all the eclairs* (*an eclair is a really cool person) involved, but I have to edit it. First here is a love song that I made on my toy guitar in Oroville and June. It's probably about you:



MARY BLESS A BOY WITH HIS SUNGLASSES


I know your arms
Are there for more
Than me to fall into
I know you do things
With your life
And whoa that's pretty cool!

But if you were a parapet
I'd be the gargoyle
And we'd be a two for one deal.
If you were a sugar beet
I'd be the convict who
Slept out all night in your field.

(seventh of the root!)

Mary bless a boy with his sunglasses
He needs all the help he can get
Mary bless a boy with his sunglasses
Right up until the point that he lo(whoo! whoo!)ses it

Sha da da. Sha da da. Sha da da da da daaa --

We dare the world
To rain on us
When we dress up like this
Your brutal disregard
For reality
Is the thing about you I like best

But if you were a marshmallow
I'd be the campfire
That singes your edges just right
If you were a cocoa leaf
I'd be the one percent
Extract illegal to buy

(repeat seventh of root! repeat chorus!)

I see the world. It's just a little dark.
I see the world. It's just a little dark.
I see the world. It's just a little dark.
I see the world. It's just a little dock.
I see the world. It's just a little dock.
I see the world. It's just a little dock.
I see the world. It's just a little dark.
I see the world. It's just a little dock.

Boop da doop da doop doo.

8.03.2009

Stay Awhile If You Can is a long story about relationships, murals, punks, and community radio

You can read it in Hobart #10 alongside sweet stories by Alicia Gifford, B.J. Hollars, Blake Butler, Claire Vaye Watkins, Amy Clark, Daniel Nester, JoeAnn Hart, Curtis Dawkins, Brad Gayman, Colleen Hollister, and Lori Ostlund, plus comics by Lydia Conklin and John Dermot Woods.

The bonus materials website is up. I am sixteen years old in the picture of me next to the mural. Other facts about the story: the punks in Ashland, OR really did drive an auctioned police car. Rain really rains like that in Oregon. Blueberries do help your memory. The community radio station in Oroville really does have carseats for couches. Oroville really does have a crazy mural guy. His name is Fred. He painted the Eiffel Tower below our swamp cooler. His nephew and I were friends. We rode go-karts. Disney did fire him. In the park is a mural of Ishi, who had to live in a jail for a little while. Sometimes I raced my sister around the park by running on the park wall, which is three feet high and the color of adobe. People steal computer monitors and wooden Indians from the stores downtown. There's a well in the park that doesn't work. There's an alley called Miner's Alley where no one ever parks because they're all at the casino. One day my mother bought me a cowboy shirt, but it didn't fit, so I exchanged it for an authentic Toby Keith hat. What makes me nostalgic are levies, abandoned shopping carts, dogs that swim for no reason, green bridges, bottles of peppermint schnapps broken on trestles, and the California foothill sunset, which is a blind horse with a yellow tongue.

7.28.2009

sorry, no, jensen actually has the cutest kids

My friend Jensen's new post reminds me that I've been lax on posting about a few new things that I have work in. So here we go:

QUICK FICTION 15: A whole bunch of crazy good short shorts in this lovely munchkin, including stories by exactly all of these people (omg I'm getting so many Google Alerts hits off this, yo): Jami Brandli, Andrew Brininstool, Randall Brown, Kenneth Calhoun, Elizabeth Ellen, Scott Garson, Lydia Copeland, Stefan Kiesbye, Andrea Kneeland, Charles Lennox (who's got good stuff in the new FRiGG too), Sean Lovelace, Jen Marquardt, Lee Martin, Michael Meyerhofer, Taylur Thu Hien Ngo, Dylan Nice, G. C. Perry, Andrew Michael Roberts, Helen Klein Ross, Joanna Ruocco, James Scott, Don Strange, Jensen Whelan, Daniel E. Wickett, Blythe Winslow, Spencer Wise, me, and Mabel Yu.

ROBOT MELON 9: It's online, plus a color wheel and a lot of linguistic crunch on top of a high dose of what, what's it called, a sort of silk mumble? Good stuff. I have a poem in it and these sweet things are doing their sweet rings: Ani Smith, Jenna Humphrey, Sean Lovelace, Lisa Ciccarello, Heather Momyer, James Iredell, Peter Berghoef, Justin Hyde, Michelle Reale, Maria Anderson, Justin Dobbs, Arelene Ang, Duncan Cheshire, Andrew Rihn, Audri Sousa, Andrew Lundwall, Sonny Traylor, and Donald Dunbar.

LETTERBOX #4: Haven't seen it yet, but I'm excited for the gawk. My poem in this is dedicated to somebody, but you have to figure out who. It's like poetry meets the Knights Templar or whatever. Seems like a good shoulder to shoulder: Ed Baker, Jennifer Cooper, Melissa Eleftherion, Raymond Farr, Marco Giovenale, Vincent Katz, Richard Kostelanetz, Pablo Lopez, Charlie Malone, Richard Meier, Christopher Mulrooney, K. Silem Mohammed, Sara Mumolo, Sophie Pucill, Stephen Ratcliffe, Francis Raven, and Kit Robinson.

Plus I have a story in the new print issue of Hobart, but I am waiting for the DVD style website to post that. But I am super excited. The issue is good, and my story is illustrated by a trailer home hidden in the woods--or, I mean, I like to think it's hidden, brewing mint soda and so on.

Thanks y'all! Hope your summer is going well!

7.23.2009

sick in your room at your summer camp job? conquer goodreads!

Most all Magic Helicopter stuff and MC O is now on GoodReads. You should add these if you have them/have read them. Maybe you should even write reviews! Starfish!

MC Oroville's Answering Machine
Dragons With Cancer
Thirteen Stares
Let's Collaborate
Typewriter
Less Shiny

7.21.2009

The Six Definitive Rules of Contemporary Poetry as Figured Out By a Classroom of Twelve Year Olds


1) Inconsistent
2) Doesn't stay on topic
3) Doesn't explain anything
4) Abundance of assertions
5) Mixes objective/subjective until you can't tell the difference.
6) Is it funny or is it serious? No one knows.

6.04.2009

steal all yr yellow bikes: MC Oroville's Answering Machine now available



MC Oroville's Answering Machine is out now for $3.50 from Transmission Press. Many thanks to Logan Ryan Smith, who is publishing lovely multicolored versions of this poetry chapbook. Poems? Of BBQ sauce collage, kidnapped lyrics, detuned fiddles, coleslaw, horse teeth, police tape, Skoal, 49er kitten lectures, casino buffets, lye and chub, bowling alley parking lots, and featuring 2 1/2 allusions to Kenneth Patchen’s Hallelujah Anyway.

Basically: Oroville's newspaper has this section called the Openline where you can call in and say anything and they'll print it. Oroville also has an official rapper named MC Oroville, except he moved to the Bay Area. MC Oroville's Answering Machine is like what would happen if a mythic version of Oroville left mythic messages on its departed MC's mythic answering machine of myth.

Read Hello, MC Oroville?

Read Feather Falls Casino Buffet

Read The 49er's Kitten Lecture

I will make a more official page for the book on my site soon, but you should snag a copy. $3.50 is a good deal, I think? Two years or so in the making! Holy geez! BBQ sauce! I'm going to be in Oroville on Sunday! BBQ mustache for the win!

6.01.2009

in the summer in the summer i'm a saltwater plea


SUMMER TOUR OF 2009

June 4th: Studio One Reading Series w/ Geoffrey G. O'Brien and video from Jake Gillespie). 365 45th ST in Oakland CA, 7PM.



June 5th: Epic Summer Art Opening Reading w/ Chelsea Martin. Manifesto Bicycles (421 40th Street @ Webster) in Oakland CA, 7PM.

June 7th: Poetry of Oroville, CA Reading w/ Chelsea Martin. Bicentennial Park (Corner of Huntoon and Robinson), 2PM. FIRST COPIES OF MC OROVILLE'S ANSWERING MACHINE WILL PROBABLY BE AVAILABLE

June 11th: Bittersweet Rockridge Poetry Series w/ Chelsea Martin and Brandon Scott Gorrell and possibly more pending confirmation. Bittersweet Cafe Rockridge (5427 College Avenue) in Oakland CA, 7PM.

June 12th: Common Thread Poetry and Politics with Diamond Dave and Charlie Getter w/ Chelsea Martin and Brandon Scott Gorrell. Pirate Cat Radio Cafe (2781 21st Street) in San Francisco CA, 4PM. (streams online for internet listeners too, 89.9 FM on Bay Area dials)

June 13th: An Evening of Poetry and Whatever w/ Chelsea Martin and Brandon Scott Gorrell. Pegasus Books Downtown (2349 Shattuck Avenue) in Berkeley CA, 7:30PM.

June 14th: Meet and Greet at Copperfield's Books w/ Chelsea and Brandon (3900A Bel Aire Plaza) in Napa, CA 2:00PM

June 19th-21st: I'm going to be in New York with my sister and her partner. We're probably going to go to Sacred Chow.

July 14: Maybe New York? TBA

July 25th: TBA, but probably Baltimore w/ Jack Christian and Adam Robinson and more TBA.

COME TO THINGS, I WILL HAVE SPECIAL HANDSHAKES FOR YOU, IT'S BECAUSE I LIKE YOU, AND ALONG WITH MC OROVILLE'S ANSWERING MACHINE, I WILL HAVE OKAY NOW, AN EXCLUSIVE SPECIAL TOUR THINBOOK THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS AND WILL BE PRETTY CHEAP:



Also: Logan Ryan Smith interviewed me for the Studio One blog. Find out about fog flavored gelato and Dontrelle Willis.

HOPE TO SEE YOU SUMMER OF 09 LET'S FRY A GIANT MEMORY LOL BOOM

5.30.2009

rather talk with the pillow than the mirror


Hey team, I've got two poems out in the brand new and beautiful Jellyfish, edited by Gale Thompson. The poems are called "Do You Pray In The Shower?" (BRAND NEW NEVER BEFORE POSTED ON THE BLOG!) and "Lovesong With Civic Responsibility." (MAYBE I POSTED THIS A LONG TIME AGO, NOT SURE, DEFINITELY EDITED SINCE THEN) Auxiliary reality trivia: the horse is a real horse, and yes you can do that with ping pong balls.

Jellyfish is full of awesome folk, including (counting Gale) 4/6 of my band! And my old housemate! And both dudes who live where that housemate and I used to live! Okay, this is getting weird. I am just going to shut up and tell you who's in it now: Zach Savich, Caroline Cabrera, me-zee, Adam Cogbill, David Bartone, Christopher Cheney, Anne C. Holmes, Jeff Downey, Ari Feld, Lily Ladewig, Philip Muller, Kimberly Abruzzo, Shannon Luders-Manuel, Stokely Klasovsky, Miranda Dennis, Jared Sinclair, Christopher Cheney.

Check it out! Good work all! Summer tour announcement coming this weekend.

5.27.2009

time's a mood that we cater to



This is Jack and Julia, the jewels of Virginia, walking the rails that prickle through Charlottesville out to UVA and--presumably--back. We saw a dead skunkrat. Some guy on a bicycle stopped and ran over and peered close. "If I gave you a million dollars," he asked us, "would you eat it?" He and Jack agreed that it sucks to get your asshole done ate out. Then our new friend left and waved at our new friend who wouldn't be leaving much of anything. He said, "See you on Survivor little buddy!"

I'm about to post some pretty exciting news and also a "summer tour schedule." Will I be in your town? Maybe I'm already there? It's a good question, what with the hours I make and all the laundry I get done. But school, at least, is over for the summer. Been singing some songs with good folks: cinnamon urns and popsicle cakes. Shaved! Fried some plantains. Got one pair of shoes fixed. Conducted myself a little like an emotional pinball and a little like emotional skeet. Received a peanut butter candy bar and three really nice eggs as presents of condolence. Back in Virginia, I cooked some bacon by way of headlamp. Fairly sure I'll need to buy myself a new computer before the year's out, but pretty happy with my shampoo.

5.01.2009

if you like him so much why don't you run him over


My friend Jack Christian and I are going to be reading Sunday, May 3rd at 7:30 PM at The Darjeeling Cafe in Staunton, VA with Jack Morgan, who will definitely be hosting and maybe reading too. I think I only know one person (besides Jack M.) who lives in the area, but I would like many readers of this blog to come and believe that they are that one person, which they will exultingly be.

I've never been to Virginia! I'm excited. Lovely bogfolk, please tell me things to do over the weekend in Virginia. If I take a picture of myself or others doing your thing and post that picture on this blog and you identify a thing you asked to have done, I will send you a free copy of any Magic Helicopter Press title, your choice, current or forthcoming. I promise to take at least three pictures of myself or others doing things.

4.13.2009

DRAGONS WITH CANCER



My friend Bradley Sands and I wanted to do an e-anthology of real and unreal stories. We did it. It's out! Click the pic. Plus visit Magic Helicopter Press for lots of cool announcements: upcoming chapbooks, e-books, and our first full length.

3.31.2009

daniel drives a van and owns a saber


Computer labs and a new Spring. I've got a bag of peanut butter cookies and some sunglasses. There's a kid in a tyedye astronomy shirt at the computer across from me, smiling up at the florescent. Everybody's made of history and aesthetics. One phrase I'm really obsessed with right now is the chorus from that Killers song: ARE WE HUMAN OR ARE WE DANCER.

Though I'm reasonable enough to remain skeptical about the "staying power" of this phrase, right now it's totally all the rawk. Every three months or so, I'm like "Wait, what are The Killers up to?" If I had to classify them, I would call them the kids who learn what football is in third grade, then run home and get a liferaft and a glittery cape and a bucket of ham and bring these things to the football field and start screaming MARS IS FOR EMOTIONAL! MARS IS FOR EMOTIONAL! They are those kids.

This kid in an orange sweatshirt is flirting with one of the lab attendants. He's leaning his face in. She's swiveling her monitor back and forth in an appreciative way.

Somebody's got a mop and somebody's got capri pants. Here in the overcoat of my heart you're a burrowed parakeet. Not only that, but I've got a new story up at P.H. Madore's newly relaunched dispatch litareview. Nav your eyes over and click Current. The story's called "Ball of Dooshie Levitation." Whereas I've been accused of self-protective nonchalance, that's not something P.H. Madore has ever been accused of, I think. His magazine is red and pretty. Check it out.

3.21.2009

look! a face!


i started writing and recording videos of RAD POETRY poems

they are up on the noo blog: FOR YOU TO FINISH WHILE YOU'RE SWIMMING (for Nikolai Stephanovich) and MOTIVATIONAL NAIVETE (for Barry Graham)

this is fun

i will be doing some more and will try to get other people to do some

if you want to do some just let me know

i feel like i could do this for funraiser and not for a fundraiser; it would be funny if i could do this for a living; it would be really funny if there was like some massive market for personalized youtube poems and people were like "bshh, who does this young mike think he is, trying to hone in on the $$$, what a dingleberry"

3.16.2009

i did laundry and found a $100 season in my pocket; it said "high, my name is spring"


It's warm finally. Here's a hope nobody's lying. What I'd like is for all of us to be liars but none of us to lie. Toward that goal: I have five poems appearing this week at No Tell Motel. Three are up already: "Tell Me and I Will Know," "If I Crash My Love Goes With Me," "Let's Invite Permission." That first one is one I feel very tender about. Two more are coming: "All of These Parties Outside the Microwave" and "A Sample of Your New Luck."




All five are from a 50ish page manuscript called WE ARE ALL GOOD IF THEY TRY HARD ENOUGH. My friends in Ashland tried to make me change the title to THE GOOD SHIP BEARD TRIMMER VERSUS U.S.S. BITCHFACE, a change still within the realm of possibility, like Kool-Aid, which is always right there at the store if you want it. Comment on this post if you want me to email you a copy of the MS to read, if you have time for 50 pages of poetry suspicious of feelings, reverent toward breakfast and inside jokes, attempting a value system like however drunk snipers aim at diplomats, and featuring a spirit of clutter that makes room for unicorn blankets, how-not-to manuals, amateur opera singers, sex in the woods, daguerreotypes of rowboats, spacemen, total reality goals, hemlock, intermission music, and the sheriff's election billboard. There are lots of pictures I've saved in my bookmarks that I have thought about for cover art of WAG IT THE, which is an acronym I can't use if I change the title you sweet Ore Goners.

Always I am thankful that my readers (you, that would be you) are more intelligent and attractive than most. Virginia: I'll be there in April. California: June. A state of bliss or at least sustained happiness: sorry, I lost my ticket. But I had a great time at the reading in Amherst. We closed the curtain and scared people. Good work Chris, Claire, Rachel, Bradley, Blake. Thanks everyone who came out and who told me "I didn't think it was possible for me to ever be offended, but I was offended." Also had a lovely time in Providence reading with Clarion Donation and William Blake. Unique city: Star Wars toys in the bathroom, old people Scrabble in the hipster burger bar, apricots in the brownies, Christmas lights in the construction zone. Ada Books: swell. Thank you Claire and Jeff for housing me and thanks to Brian Foley for introducing me via follicle commentary. When is the train up? Who's on and where can I hide?

2.26.2009

8 9 8 9 8 9 8 9

MARCH 8TH: COME TO AMHERST!I MADE THE FLYER THE WHOLE FLYER. I MADE THE FLYER TO FLY.



MARCH 9TH: COME TO PROVIDENCE!CLAIRE MADE THE FLYER BUT I MESSED WITH THE FLYER. IF IT LOOKS DUMB IT'S MY FAULT.

2.15.2009

i was falling out of the sky at you and yelling move move


Wow. Thanks, Chicago. AWP was obscenely amazing.

I met so many people I wanted to meet. Highlight for me, the me of me and maybe nobody else, was to witness the mingling of friends from such different places--Massachusetts, Oregon, New York, Internetia--around common devotions/jokes.

I will do a big sort of post on AWP, maybe, maybe, here or on the GIANT, just to talk about all the cool people and things and trains and tequila and beef, but know this: the cabs in Chicago are very cheap. Chicago is not that cold, but the wind: okay. There you win.