1.31.2009

i don't know; i do do


You've gotta read Nick Sylvester's blog post on Animal Collective, Hipster Runoff, the idea of liking things for the "right" reasons, dancing, The Joker, blasting DMX out your Wrangler, the difference between being self-conscious and self-disabling, and other really good pump-you-up shit.

via MBV (add it to your readers, kids. remember: i want my MBV)

1.26.2009

mama there's a dream in my pillow


That's right: the epic and long-awaited Barnaby Jones #1 is now really totally available from Pinch Pinch Press. I have a copy and it's smooth as tail. New work from all sorts of stalwarts. $5. Nab it.

1.20.2009

"just so you know, after you’re done reading this you might have some slime somewhere on you"


Monsters of Oak Mountain is my new favorite online literary magazine.

An excerpt from "Ferlley:"

Ferlley has a slimy body because he is kin to slugs and he has twenty-one eyeballs to see everything that goes on. He has sharp teeth to chew and scare. He also has sharp pinchers to show how tough he is. He also has a little buddy named Fimmie! Fimmie is his best friend and always hangs out with Ferlley because they look so much alike and act so much alike. Ferlley is also half duck.

1.19.2009

nobody else in the world is worried about this: volume one

STOCK CAR RACER DAVEY ALLISON WHO DIED TRAGICALLY YOUNG

WHISKEY AND LEMON VOICED FOLK SINGER IAN FELICE

MY FRIEND ISSAC

STILL NEEDED: CHICAGO COUCH: SEE BELOW =(

1.17.2009

couch wizard


Dear Internet Friends Who Live in Chicago (see picture if you're not sure whether you live in Chicago or not),

As of yet, I have no place to stay during my AWP visit to your fair city. That's Feb 11-14. If you have a couch-like object I could sleep on, I would be most appreciative, lavishing you with tales and orange rinds. In other words:

me: yeah that is all i need really
i am not fussy
but i think it would be funny to post a wanted ad
for a couch on my blog or on htmlgiant
so maybe i will do that
daniel: haha
that would probably work too
me: i can make it really uncomfortable
"look, guys, i know i'm not as popular as some of the internet bloggers, and i know i'm no xxxxxxxxxxx here, but maybe just a piece of cheese, i mean a radiator, i mean a pillow, not even a pillow, just a footstool, i can sleep on a footstool, i am the size of a foot"
daniel: hahaha
take pictures of yourself sleeping on a couch and post them
me: hahahaha

1.15.2009

that's nothing; i can land a river on a bird


I have a new story out in MARY Magazine, the magazine of St. Mary's College of California's MFA program. There is new work from Matthew Rohrer, Richard Meier, Craig Santos Perez, and others. Good shit.

Most of the stories are pretty long, including mine, but editor Sara Mumolo cleverly split them into multiple pages so it's not all scroll-daunting. However, I look like a douche in my picture, which is a flaw not even Sara could mollify.

My story is based on a story told to me by a friend and it's maybe the ______ thing I've ever written.

1.13.2009

a squirrel snuck into the breaker room [aka] YOU THINK A PICTURE OF TWO UNICORNS FORNICATING IS FUNNY?!?!



From Julia Cohen [Mike's comments in brackets]:

Hi,
I'm pleased to announce that the third issue of Saltgrass is out, featuring these fine poets & writers:

Eric Baus, CAConrad [coolest person alive], Jessica deCourcy Hinds, Johannes Goransson [a new quarantine is the new poetry], Kate Greenstreet [very nice person and terrific poet; i showed her where the soda machine was in the SOU library once], Brenda Iijima, Kristi Maxwell, Sawako Nakayasu, Keith Newton, Joshua Poteat, Joy Rhoades, Ken Rumble [one of my favorite poets], Matt Sumell, Chris Tonelli [chris still wants to know about the crayon party; chris, nothing much happened at the crayon party, but everybody there was very cool; jack and i drew funny things on the wall, and the girls left us positive feedback on couchsurfing.com that said they wished we'd hung out more], and Mike Young [really likes breakfast food and cowboy shirts].

It's just waiting for you to read it. The basics:

$5.00 print journal. You can order the issue online & read sample poems at www.saltgrassjournal.blogspot.com.

Please pass on the good word.

Thanks,
Julia

Julia published one of my favorite MC Oroville poems in this issue (I'm officially pretending someone else wrote it from here on out) and all of these other people are amazing, so you should buy this instead of eating fake roses.

1.08.2009

with your moon still rank on the ground



If you're going to be in San Francisco, I'm going to be here Saturday night. My friend Sara Blaylock is in the show! She's a lightning hitting the mast ahoy.

Elsewise, I will be around. You might see me going up to strangers and asking "Excuse me, is there an ocean I can lean on? Do you want to swap senses of humor? How do you say 'home base' in your language? Is this muffin dank enough? Might there be a danker? Mmm?"

SOCIALLY AWARE P.S: Of course, it's a great time to be in the Bay Area right now. Um.

1.05.2009

the only coconut hemp necklace in the heart

ATTN ATTN

THANKS TO ALL SEEN IN ASHLAND FOR BEING TRUE AS NEPTUNE AND FLAMMABLE AS ASTEROIDS. I'M SORRY I DID NOT GET TO SEE THOSE I DID NOT GET TO SEE. LOVE TO ALL; LOVE IS LIKE THE FLASHLIGHT; LOVE IS THE DILATION OF LOVE, OF A CIRCLE THAT WIDE_S AND WIDE_S TO THE EDGES YOU CAN'T TELL QUITE OF. GOOD WORK LIGHT OF LOVE.

THANK YOU THANK YOU

1.02.2009

apples, honey, toast, peanut butter


My essay "It Ain't Me Babe" was voted Top Nerve Essay of 2008. Thank you to all out there in blogland who voted. Don't listen to your enemies: you're in my salvation army, and that's a yes.

major development in translation: daniel bailey and mike young


Big news tonight. Hickory Assbags, top poet from Space Kentucky, has officially chosen Daniel Bailey and I to be his English translators. He likes candy and the poem. We're pretty sure he's the next Tomaž Šalamun, which makes us, like, the next, wait, who played Superman in the 80s --