10.27.2009

chelsea martin is a bowl of stew hiding inside from a cold october storm

from the end of a very important email sent to me by Chelsea Martin:

ps mike i had a dream that you owned a massive and highly-respected natural history museum and i started going to school there and you owned the original tarp that jesus christ was stapled to and you made jimmy chen the 'emergency expert' even though he lives in california because you were so sure that there would never be an emergency at the natural history museum and there was a really funny poster of jimmy sprinkling emergency powder on the ground.

10.10.2009

mama don't let your babies throw up on the cowboys



If my life were a non-linear roleplaying game such as Morrowind or Daggerfall, feel like I might ditch the main quest for a while and just hang out in Portland, ME running small fetch jobs for bookstore owners and sitting in the town inns to watch people scuff cobblestone with their pixely boots.

10.03.2009

audience participation


Do you want to play the kazoo? Do you want to play the maracas? Do you want to play the penny whistle? Do you want to play the fishpipe? Do you want to play the slapdash? Do you want to play the gourd? Do you want to play the didgeridoo? Do you want to play Twister? Do you want to play for money? Do you want to plate with subtlety? Do you want to be in the play? Do you want to play catch? Do you want to play freeze tag? Do you want to play at my house or yours? Do you want to play outside? What if it's raining? Do you want to play your mix next? Do you want to play up our chances? Do you want to play tummysticks? Do you want to play for keeps? Do you want this playpen I was gonna throw it out? Do you want the plague--I don't! Do you want to play once this is done? Do you want to pray? Can you keep my hand steady? Do you want to play in my band? Do I want to play in your band? Do you want to ban my play? Do you want to placate the bear? Do you want it plain? With salt? Do you want a playmate? Do you want a blowjob? Do you want planar activity? Do you concern place? Do you play in private? Is that a play? Are we playing? Are you joking? Is there a place we can just play?

Answers in the comments, please.