9.22.2010

"there's a ground invasion / (with complete color coordination)"

If I had been born in suburban Australia, I would have been born Darren Hanlon. I used to buy a lot of new albums a year, but Hanlon's new one is the only one I've been excited about in a while.

what did you say / i said watt digs lute sales

So I had an awesome time in Ann Arbor. Elizabeth Ellen is the best host in the history of hostage. J.P. is all of us. Raviolis are good. Strawberries are a potato substitute. Plus, the reading went very well, big crowd, lots of young people. A teenage poet named Allison opened for us, and she was clever and inventive and did a terrific job. A lot of the architecture in Ann Arbor reminds me of the 1930s. A lot of the plates in the restaurants are yellow and purple. There is a fun arcade named Pinball Pete's. Sometimes it is hard to find a game in that arcade where two people get to shoot at once, but it is easy to find a game where two people get to row a boat.

In other news, there is a new giveaway opportunity for We Are All Good. Adam Robinson is hosting a miscommunication contest on HTMLGIANT. All you have to do is post a story of miscommunication—good or bad, funny or sad—and you can win one of three copies that Adam is giving away. Check it out: http://htmlgiant.com/contests/mike-youngs-all-good-for-free/.

My favorite miscommunication is Ms. Communication, because I do not want to know if she is married or not.

9.16.2010

hey are you in michigan

Well, I'm going to be in Ann Arbor, Michigan soon, and so in the UMass football team apparently. What I'm going to pretend is that the football team is there for me and not to lose to the Wolverines. Why am I there? Why for the sake of Serious Literature. Duh.

Rachel B. Glaser, Tao Lin, and I are all reading at Elizabeth Ellen's awesome Great Lakes Great Times reading series. If you happen to, you know, live in Ann Arbor, you should stroll out to see us Sunday @ 5PM at The Neutral Zone (310 E. Washington St).

9.15.2010

gettin up earlier, gettin burned faster

Before cell phones, the Bible was probably the most mainstream association with "texts." "Body of work" seems totally a wrong and gentile phrase. When I think of a "body of work," what I really think of is that lady they found under a pile of her own hoarding. Body didn't do her much good. Unbearably sexy thoughts will always make me sneeze. Did I just Google "sexy thoughts" sneezing to see if this was a common experience? Welcome to my faith. Have you heard of the game where people surround a huge sheet and hold it up, Ouija-board style? And then someone climbs on the sheet and the people bounce this person, trampoline-like, in a miracle of collective will? Well, usually the person falls off, but people fall off anyway, and everyone might as well be helpful until they do.

9.04.2010

i would hit you again but i need time for my rhetoric


A roofer is whining for a saw, a skill saw, a hand saw, in the most annoying way I've ever heard. People seem to have saws but seem disinclined to give him one because of his whining, more out of confusion than anger, as if his whining is so exaggerated they fear they're on a secret documentary.

God is picking from between different stars with an older God behind him saying "You should get that star, that's a Reynolds star, they're a good brand." God thinks, "I have no idea what that means." Then he thinks, "Wait, all he means is that the company doesn't sound Japanese."

We went to get ice cream at Sundae School, and they had their own cop monitoring parking lot traffic. His moves seemed FAA-regulated.

Fromm the Department of Indignation: Grade the following instances of Indignation on a scale of your choosing: What kind of farmer's market doesn't have free samples? What kind of a personality trait is a preference for ginger ale? What kind of beautiful weather doesn't know it's September 11th? What kind of parent teaches their kid to ride a bike in the parking lot of the funeral home?